One of our YWAM leaders posted a link to a few journaling topics, they are intended for the students to use on outreach but I feel that some of them are applicable to where I’m at currently. This is for those of you who are wondering where I’m at as I mentally and spiritually prepare for discipleship training school.
1) Why are you going?
In this past year and a half, I’ve attended a private Christian college, taken an extended break from school entirely, worked my first (and hopefully last) full-time office job while also working a part-time restaurant job, and yet amongst all of these new and stressful experiences through which I should have been leaning on God through, I’m sad to say that my relationship with God had been incredibly unstable. I’ve found myself drowning in my own doubt more times than I can count, and there came a point where I was incredibly dissatisfied with the direction that my life was taking. I was heading down a road that looked the exact same as the prior season of my life. I had created the illusion in my mind that obtaining a degree and securing an honorable job would ultimately fulfill my heart’s desires. This is when God stepped in an reminded me that I was incapable of writing a better story than Him. Instead of repeating the same self-destructive cycle of seeking approval from all the wrong places, and pretending that I could handle everything on my own, I was shown a glimpse of how much more fulfilling it would be to take a different path. I am doing this DTS in order to not only better my own relationship with Christ, but so that I can be a friend, daughter, sister, and student who reflects Christ’s love in every aspect of my life.
2) What has God done?
There have been countless times that I wanted to leave behind this idea of a DTS, and to remain on the path that I have laid out for myself. Each time I begin to feel this way, I’ve gotten into the habit of asking God to make it abundantly clear if I am supposed to go to Norway for a DTS. And every single time I’ve asked, He has answered with the most blatant signs, that I can’t help but laugh a little bit. He knows what we need to see or hear in every situation, and if we allow Him to show us, our faith can be restored. When I had originally returned from college, with no plans for the future, I asked God if He would show me the next best step for me to take. The very next morning, I woke up to a message on my phone from a friend-of-a-friend who I had attempted to contact a few months prior. My message to her was inquiring about YWAM, so when she responded so soon after I had asked God for direction, I felt that it was not a simple coincidence. I began looking into YWAM, all the while I continued praying for guidance and clarity to discern what God was trying to show me.
All of this prayer and research lead up to one moment that set my YWAM journey into motion. Thanks to the encouragement of a friend, back in April I was able to contact a YWAM base that I had felt a slight interest in (YWAM Rogaland which is about 15 minutes from Stavanger, Norway). A day or two later, that same friend brought me to his church in Louisville, Colorado. Service had begun and a video was being shown; when the face of a girl about my age came onto the screen, my friend leaned over and said, “She’s from Norway.” And as if my initial disbelief wasn’t enough, after speaking with her I found out that she is from Stavanger, Norway. Fifteen minutes away from the YWAM base that I had just contacted. What I had originally thought to be a lofty notion, became very tangible in a matter of moments. God provided a link to this place that was almost 4,000 miles away.
Following this incomprehensible experience, there were definitely moments where I needed God to remind me why I was pursuing a DTS. And every single time I began to doubt, I prayed for confirmation. Without fail, God managed to place a Norwegian flag in my path within a couple days of my request for confirmation. One time I found a Norwegian flag painted on my grandparents’ neighbor’s Baggo game board, another time the flag was being worn as a cape by a college student in downtown Boulder, and another time the flag was sewn onto a girl’s backpack who was at my Spirit flight gate in Denver airport. Three perfectly timed, very bizarre and disorienting experiences; but each played a crucial role to my current certainty that I am pursuing God’s plan for my life.
Thanks for tuning in to my blog, in about a month I’ll be able to share some first-hand YWAM experiences! Let the countdown begin.
If you’d like to see the full list of journal writing prompts the link is below 🙂